Not commanded

Why do people use the scripture about “it is not meet that the Lord should command in all things” to mean, “you should come around to my way of thinking without my having to tell you”? It’s insulting. Too many times I have seen this argument advanced by someone who thinks we should all be clean-shaven or not eat sugar or some other private law that the person has created for themselves and then told themselves that this is “the higher law” or “farther from the edge” or “safer” or whatever, but that actually amounts to a hedge about the law.

If a leader thinks something is a big deal enough to be upset that you are not complying with his way of thinking, he should TELL YOU and not just assume that you'll absorb it by osmosis, all the while thinking, "well, I shouldn't command in all things, so I'll just not command and let him come around to my view on his own."